I just got back from vacation to the North of Cameroon. It is a very different place than where I live, the highlands of the West Province. I will post a description of my trip next. In the mean time, here are ten tips I learned from my north trip:

  1. When trying a new indigenous alcoholic drinks such as “billy billy”, it is not advisable to drink multiple servings your first time.
  2. Africans living in the Sahara are not lazy; it is just too hot to do anything.
  3. Only crazy white people go lay near a pool of water to not get in and instead get burned by the sun.
  4. Only crazy white people spend money to go walking around in a circle to go look at things like rocks and other people working in their fields.
  5. Bitching about everything does not make good road trip conversation.
  6. It is good to travel with at least one woman because she will usually take better care of you if you get sick.
  7. Men and women in the north are thinner and have less facial hair.
  8. You should keep your soda bottle cap on when not drinking or next thing you know you’ll have drunk sloppy seconds from a fly.
  9. If you have enough money, you can get whatever animal skin or artifact you want, no matter how “interdit” it is.
  10. As Sam Kinison once said, if it’s so hot and so little water, “WHY DON’T YOU JUST MOVE OUT OF THE F—— DESERT!!!!”
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