I think I’m obsessed with cockroaches. I find myself waking up at 3 in the morning and unconsciously listening for the sound of cockroaches and looking for some to kill:

The battle with ‘Les caffard’ has reached war status. They launched a full offensive last night after seeing me return to home base in a celebratory mood.

One of the volunteers had thrown a party and after a worth-while American themed celebration of D’jino, biers and vin rouge, I returned home with my defenses down.

Around 03 00 hours the battle began. I heard the enemy fortifying their positions around my mosquito/caffard protected bed. At 03 30 I got up to use the toilet. As I stepped out I heard the sound of tiny little footsteps marching towards and away from me. I turned on the light and saw an enemy standing between me and the door. I quickly reached for my flip flop and splattered his armored body and tiny legs. That one felt good.

I was about to step out when I heard what could be dozens, perhaps hundreds of caffards coming from inside my room. Maybe the first one was just a decoy. I looked around, then under my desk, and there lay a mother caffard giving birth to tiny little white caffards, I went American on her and hit her and her youths about a dozen times. Still some of the younger more resolute ones refused to die, so I grabbed the Raid and proceeded to bomb them directly.

I finally went to the bathroom, then back to base. As I stepped back into my bed I heard hundreds of tiny battle cries from outside the net. They were angry my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli. They would want revenge.

In the morning, I bombed them with the equivalent of a dozen Raid bombs, all over their bases. Later that day, I saw them scurrying out of their base, clinging to their worthless lives. But I know there are more. I need the equivalent of a Nuclear Raid Bomb to nuke the cockroaches once and for all.

PS. Only one more week of Staging!


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